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Yumi
- May 24, 2020
If you are reading this, chances are you are already in a casual relationship, but starting to like the other person more for them just to be your weekend fling. You may have begun as a nothing-serious hookup where it was just pure physical attraction at first, but you’ve started to be more interested in this person.
You find yourself talking a lot more about hobbies, plans, wishes. You start talking about your past, friends, and how you all have to get together once. This makes you wonder if it is JUST a casual relationship.
When feelings start growing towards your fling, you become more and more curious if this person is feeling the same. They may not have made any grand gestures yet or declarations of wanting to get serious, but there are subtle signs you could look out for.
If you find yourself relating to any of these statements, your casual relationship is probably on its way to turning into a serious relationship.
1. You Want to Get to Know Each Other More
When you start dating casually, most of the time, there is no talking. Or there is, but just to confirm your next meeting. You really do not spend much or even any time getting to know the other person. After all, you are not going to date them seriously, so why invest time?
However, if you both start talking a lot more about your lives and not just everyday stuff, this might be a very positive sign that your relationship is becoming a bit more serious.
Does your fling want to know what your childhood was like, what are some funny stories from your past? Do they ask you about your job, hobbies?
This is a clear sign they are becoming keener and keener about you and want to invest their time in this relationship. What it means is that they are making an effort to get to know you and possibly get an idea of who they would be dating.
2. You Start Talking a Lot More
The number 1 rule for casual relationships is not to discuss “hard” topics. The purpose of causal relationships is to keep things easy breezy and not discuss family issues, work-related problems, or money struggles.
This does not mean you won’t talk at all. It just means your conversation topics will probably be weather-related, recent news, etc. But sometimes, you get together, catch up a bit, and instead of being all over each other, you continue talking.
You start enjoying each other’s company and words, and you want to get to know that other person more. You may get a good morning text every day. Or you are messaging each other non-stop and getting to know each other even more. Finally, you always end your evenings chatting and wishing each other good night.
If you are reading this and are guilty of actually liking to spend hours talking with your casual hookup, they might not be so casual after all.
3. They Want You to Meet Their Friends and Even Family
Have you already been invited to their friend’s birthday? Or maybe you’ve been invited to a game night, brunch? This is an obvious sign your casual relationship is ending, and a serious relationship is just beginning.
When you are in a casual relationship, meeting friends and family is usually off the table. You don’t hang out with each other’s friends and family and discuss how cute your fling was when they were little.
If your fling starts telling you about their friends and family more and how it would be great to spend more time together so that they can get to know you, this is a great sign your relationship is becoming serious.
After all, the more you are involved in each other’s lives, families, and friends, the higher the chances of your relationships becoming more than just a fling.
4. You Start Missing Each Other and Telling Each Other That
When you first start dating someone casually, you might just miss having sex with them. This is more about getting your primal needs satisfied than missing that specific person.
However, the moment you actually start thinking about the other person and how wonderful it would be just to sit together, talk about the day, or binge on the new episode of Westworld, you might reconsider the nature of the relationship.
When you start missing the very presence of the other person and even maybe send a quick message to let them know that, this is the time when your casual relationship becomes something more.
And if you start telling this to each other more often, some new and deeper emotions may be in the air.
5. You Seek More Opportunities to Hang Out
When you are casually dating someone, you don’t really need to spend so much time together outside the bedroom. But if you do find yourself wanting to spend more time outside, just hanging out, you might stop and think if it is really just casual after all.
When you want to spend more time with a person, explore new restaurants, try unique cocktails at that cool place, that is a clear sign of affection and a relationship that is not only based on sex. And these are all just excuses to take your relationship to the next level.
The main reason for this is that you start sharing more time together and start getting involved in each other’s lives. You get to check out new places and share new experiences. This is not something you do with your flings. You just don’t need to waste each other’s time and energy if it is just going casual.
6. You Start Mentioning a Future Together
You may make a plan to get together this week, but with a fling, you don’t really make any plans for next week, let alone next month. Making plans about the future means you hope and want that person to stick around. And this is more of a serious relationship territory than just a hookup situation.
If you start suggesting going to concerts, plays, or on a hiking tour that is weeks from now, you are showing interest in that person becoming a part of your future. These kinds of plans are a regular thing in a committed relationship, but for casual relationships, you just don’t make plans that far ahead.
This means you want to experience an activity specifically with them, and it also shows you are interested in having them in your future.
7. You Hope They Are Not Seeing Anyone Else
Now, this is a tricky one. In casual relationships, it is quite normal that one or both partners are seeing other people. You could be just seeing them, but that does not mean you are the only person they are seeing.
The whole idea of casually dating someone is that you can also casually date other people if that is your thing. However, once your feelings towards this person start growing, you also start hoping that they are not seeing anyone else.
This is a telltale sign you have developed deeper feelings. If they start giving hints and maybe even asking if you’ve been seeing someone else, you will know you are both on the same page.
8. The Way You Give Each Other Compliments Has Changed
Compliments are not off the table in the casual relationship. But they are based just on pure physical attraction and appearance. You might compliment them on the way that a new shirt suits them, or they may say how hot you look. “I like the way you think” is a compliment you most likely won’t get.
The moment your compliments start getting less about the appearance and more about the way they are thinking or doing something is the moment things also become a bit more personal.
The compliments about your personality or the way you have accomplished something are the ones you want to get when your relationship is getting more serious.
9. Dates at Home Are Not Just About Sex
In any relationship that is becoming slightly serious, there comes the point when you would rather be cuddling on the couch and watching Netflix than having sex. This is where “Netflix and chill” really means watching Netflix and just chilling.
You start watching more movies at home or start trying out new recipes, which are all a great way to get relaxed before things start heating up. But sometimes your date ends up being just that. And that is perfectly fine because it means you started enjoying each other’s company a lot more.
Your relationship is not just physical any more; you want to be intimate in different ways. You don’t meet with your fling and spend the night just cuddling. So, look out for this sure sign.
10. Small Gestures Start Being Important
In any serious relationship, it is always those small gestures that matter rather than big, romantic ones you’ve only probably seen in the movies. When dating casually, these small gestures are non-existent.
First, you buy them their favorite sweet on your way to see them. Then you remember some detail from their past or something about their friends. Then you ask them to take a short break from work so that you can give them their favorite beverage.
And before you know it, you start realizing how much you actually pay attention to what they are telling you. You realize that you want to see them give you that surprised smile because you’ve remembered all these things about them.
11. Sex Is Becoming More Comfortable
There must have been at least one situation in your life when you wanted to show you were basically an acrobat in bed. You want your casual partner to have sex as they have never experienced before.
Almost everybody in the casual relationship is guilty of showing off a bit and trying to prove how open-minded they are to some kinky games or how flexible they are. Basically, you are down to everything, even if, at times, it does not make you feel that comfortable.
You may start talking more about your sex life, about what makes you comfortable. You start enjoying the connection that your casual partner and you are starting to share.
Now, this does not mean your sex life is getting boring. It just means you are getting more comfortable, and you are enjoying sex more because it is with that specific person.
12. You Are There for Each Other
Now, this is a huge sign your relationship is becoming more serious. Once you start sharing deep conversations and relying on them for opinion and advice, you are far from being in a casual relationship.
If you’ve come to the point when their opinion really matters, and you feel like they might help you out with personal issues, it means you start to value them.
You really don’t want to be bothered with someone’s problems if they don’t mean anything to you and vice versa. Once you start talking openly about each other’s problems and are actually listening to each other and trying to help, this is when you also start being more intimate with each other.
If you are in a casual relationship and start noticing any of the signs we have listed, you might reconsider the nature of that relationship. Although you may have agreed to certain rules and wanted to keep it casual, both of you may have started developing some deeper feelings for each other.
Honest and open communication is essential in these kinds of situations because you need to see where both of you are standing. If you have noticed these subtle signs, chances are you both may want more out of this relationship. If that is the case, your relationship that started as a fling may turn into a loving and committed one.